Nausea, Nausea, Nausea, and a Bit of Hope
The past few weeks have been one big nauseous swirl. I stopped running (and I never do that). I stopped cooking. I started sleeping in--getting out of bed at 9:30 am--and that's after 12 hours of sleep--fitful, nauseous sleep, mostly. I started spending many of my waking hours lying in my bed or on the couch. It is quite safe to say that I hate being pregnant. I am not good at it. Some women talk about how they feel so amazing and alive while they are pregnant. I feel like I'm dying. I am a wuss about being pregnant. I would gladly give birth once a week to not spend 9 months being nauseous. I could live normally Monday through Friday, give birth on Saturdays, and start again the next week. I could do that. That actually sounds easy to me at present. I am way better at birthing than being pregnant.
So earlier this week I started feeling really vegetable-like. Weeks of inactivity led to a feeling of weak, slothy dwindling. Thankfully, several people stepped in to wake me up again. My mom showed up Monday night, listened to me cry as I lay perishing in my bed, then spent part of every afternoon this week playing with my kids, bringing me little healthy snacks each day. Casey's mom took my kids on Wednesday, brought me several selections of left-overs (as long as I don't have to cook it I can eat it once, so this was helpful). Several neighbors brought over meals for us, which is great because I've been feeding the kids boxed cereal for breakfast (we never eat the stuff in normal life), some sort of nuked freezer food for lunch, and then I wait for Casey to come home from work to make them something for dinner. I was so motivated that I brought myself to work in my yard each day prepping my square-foot gardens, culminating in planting five of my seven boxes. I actually did some laundry and put it away and I've made my bed for two days in a row. This is what progress looks like. This morning I did 20 minutes of yoga with the kids and then went on a 2 mile convalescent run--a sort of half run, half walk--for the first time in weeks. I still feel nauseous all day and especially at night, but the extra help this week was the activation energy I needed (apparently) to transcend my own suffering and liberate some of my native active energy to do something.
Today I am 22.5% done growing this baby. I mark every day. I'm looking forward to one sweet day in the early fall when I can guzzle a giant cup of water (without feeling nauseous), pack down a large Iceberg shake (without throwing it up), and cook and eat whatever I want with wild abandon (won't that be amazing).
So earlier this week I started feeling really vegetable-like. Weeks of inactivity led to a feeling of weak, slothy dwindling. Thankfully, several people stepped in to wake me up again. My mom showed up Monday night, listened to me cry as I lay perishing in my bed, then spent part of every afternoon this week playing with my kids, bringing me little healthy snacks each day. Casey's mom took my kids on Wednesday, brought me several selections of left-overs (as long as I don't have to cook it I can eat it once, so this was helpful). Several neighbors brought over meals for us, which is great because I've been feeding the kids boxed cereal for breakfast (we never eat the stuff in normal life), some sort of nuked freezer food for lunch, and then I wait for Casey to come home from work to make them something for dinner. I was so motivated that I brought myself to work in my yard each day prepping my square-foot gardens, culminating in planting five of my seven boxes. I actually did some laundry and put it away and I've made my bed for two days in a row. This is what progress looks like. This morning I did 20 minutes of yoga with the kids and then went on a 2 mile convalescent run--a sort of half run, half walk--for the first time in weeks. I still feel nauseous all day and especially at night, but the extra help this week was the activation energy I needed (apparently) to transcend my own suffering and liberate some of my native active energy to do something.
Today I am 22.5% done growing this baby. I mark every day. I'm looking forward to one sweet day in the early fall when I can guzzle a giant cup of water (without feeling nauseous), pack down a large Iceberg shake (without throwing it up), and cook and eat whatever I want with wild abandon (won't that be amazing).
Yes, yes, yes! To all of this. Are you sure we aren't more related, you kindred spirit you? I'm impressed with all that you have managed to do while pregnant. It's no picnic.
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